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Subject:Masters degree - Me??
Time:12:35 pm
Well, here it is...

Child Development or Psychology, not sure what i want to get my masters in yet. But these are the two areas i enjoy...
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Subject:voice!
Time:04:25 pm
Current Mood:optimisticoptimistic
That's it. I need to start singing more. I have been practicing a song that I'll be singing at the next fire circle I go to. It's beautiful, but I accidentally listened to the original only a few times before singing it a lot on my own. I had thought I knew how it went, but then I went back and listened to it. Now I know more of how it really goes, but I can't seem to remember the rest! *grin*

Anyhow, I will practice more. I will find a teacher. I will BE in a BAND!

My voice is back for good I think. I'm ready.
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Subject:finally
Time:10:50 am
Current Mood:accomplishedaccomplished
So years ago I got a job offer to work at Universal. I couldn't take it because Swan and I were probably going to break up and I didn't want to commit to a job that I might be leaving. I thought I'd be moving back to CT.

For years I kicked myself for not taking the job. Such an opportunity and I passed it up. I should have dumped the boy, taken the job and my life would have been so much better.

Ah well, it's all lead me to where I am now. Finally I got in touch with Phil and I got the job! I had to wait a month and keep checking in, but now it's mine!!

I've already massaged four new clients! I have a one o'clock today, and more people keep callin'! The money isn't as great as I'd like, but ..well..okay. I make $30 an hour. But I can't work 40 hour weeks as an MT, no one could. 20 hours max, but 10 is good for me. Last week I did five, not bad :)

I'm psyched!! I feel like I've come full circle, and I am doing it even though we're broken up :)
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Subject:this morning... - pictures of the past
Time:10:41 am
my cycle is coming and i'm looking thru old photos of my yester-years. My marriage, life aboard a boat, when i dyed my hair blonde. wow... gone thru three picture books, i have four more to go thru. throwing away alot of old pictures, keeping ones that mean something to me...

Not sure how i'm feeling, but i'm doing better than i thought. taking a break - sitting on the floor hurts...
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Current Music:Enya
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Subject:almost done!!
Time:01:07 pm
Current Mood:accomplishedaccomplished
Only a few more days until I'm done with my class!! After this, I want to take some money and make up fliers to send to stables. I also want to get some thank you cards with horses on them to send to the stables that were kind enough to let me study on their horses. I'm going to include the fliers in with the cards, and hopefully they will get passed around or I'll get called back :)

I know I messed up doing colleges instead of stables with rich folk. I just needed to work on calm horses while I practiced, and school horses were the best way to go. However, schools aren't going to pay for equine massage, hehe. Hopefully though they will pass my name onto their students who board with them!

Next week will be fun! I'll have plenty of time to study at night after my classes. I'm not worried about the hands on at all. I need to watch my teacher's video a few more times though. So much to do, but I really am so proud of myself for everything I've done already!! Go me!
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Subject:An Accomplishment worth noting
Time:09:14 am
Yesterday I was at a loss of what to do with myself. I drove to Kiten's to see if she was there. I did not call, just drove over. No one home. Decided to go to the gym. Arrived there at 4:30, left there at 6:00. Met up with Muscular B and later we went to his place to hang out.

The accomplishment I want to note here is that I actually did go to the gym by myself. It was unscheduled. I did not see anyone I knew there until B showed up.

I also benched 60lbs.
Did the stomach machine at 70lbs.
Leg machines at 75lbs
another leg machine -like squats at 5+50lbs.
did .59 miles in 10min heart rate at 120.

Goal to get heart rate to 145 and do +1 mile in 10 minutes.
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Subject:goals update...
Time:10:04 am
keeping to the low carb diet.. good thing weight is 145lb.
worked out earlier this week. going to tonight and tomorrow night.

Put blades in back of car. they will live there for the summer.
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Current Music:Shaking the Tree - Peter Gabriel
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Subject:A goal
Time:08:27 am
Current Mood:accomplishedaccomplished
This is a goal not a dream. I would like to work out with Kiten for 1 week. What ever we figure out together. After that week, I am going to set up a time for her to give me a massage.

Kiten, pleae let me know how much it will cost so I can plan for it. just decided that this morning. I feel that if i can do the work out routine for a good week, then I should pamper myself. I wish I could do it this week, but I still have too much stuff.
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Current Music:Train - drops of jupiter
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Subject:Dreams
Time:02:02 pm
I have several dreams. One of them I'm living now. I'm on my own, working and living in a cool place. I hate living in boxes.

Photography
I want to go back to school and get my associates degree in photography. I have the credits, I just need the degree. I love doing B&W pictures and I develop all my pictures

Web Page
I would like to develop my own web page. Name it something like dark-hearts (playing off of Warlock's Dark-arts) I just have to get off my lazy as$ to search for the acct.

Weight
Though this is a continuing dream to get my weight back down to 130 and back into shape. I'm currently doing this by working out. I have joined a Gym (NOHO). I just need a workout buddie. I talked briefly with Kiten about working out but nothing firmed up (hahah play on words)
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Current Music:Dome - Cirque de Soleil
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Subject:Dreams...
Time:01:54 pm
Current Mood:thoughtfulthoughtful
It's funny. I have so many goals, but one secret desire above all things. I guess I always wanted to sing, to be in front of crowds and share music.

There was a Piers Anthony book, one of the Incarnation Immortality ones -about Gia I believe. In it she was looking for the most beautiful song...for the Song. It was a song of power and of creation. I've always been captured by that idea...of making music that had power. Of making music that touched people. In the way that some artists have touched me.

I have no skills at writing music, and yet at night I will dream full symphonies and songs that I 'know'. Music I've never heard before. The music is in me, I just don't have the skills to get it out.

My mother wants me to go back to school. If I did, I suppose it would be for composition. To get the music out, to live the music.

But instead, I'm becoming an equine therapist. This was never my life dream. Just an interest. Am I shirking my calling? Am I avoiding my true dream? Or am I just doing what I can to get by for now till I can afford school. Or just making that excuse, heh.

Well, at least I'll be working with J from Collapse on a project. Perhaps that way I will learn how to live my dream. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps...
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[icon] Dreaming Divas
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